Pregnancy comes with many changes including, hormonal, physical, physiological and of course all of these factors affect your emotional awareness. I am now 35 weeks pregnant today and I can tell you that pregnancy has sent me on quite an interesting journey. In the beginning I completely gave up control of my emotions and gave in to the idea that I no longer could control my emotions or thoughts. After all I have learned and studied, this concept seems silly, but when your body is going through so many changes it becomes even more difficult to maintain your emotional awareness. If you believe it is more difficult. It also becomes the most important time to remind yourself of everything you know to be your personal truth.
Being the oldest child of five children I was confident in my ability to be a wonderful mother, but I was in no way prepared for the struggles of pregnancy. By struggles, I speak more of my emotional and mental state than anything else. Prior to pregnancy I considered myself a very aware being who was on a path of enlightenment and often complimented on my positive outlook. That started to change when I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant and I let hormones grab ahold of my thoughts.
My emotions were all over the place, I was angry for no reason and completely unaware of how I was projecting that on to my loved ones (mainly my significant other), I was exhausted, and to put it simply I was just a negatively charged mess. I adopted the thought that I no longer could control anything at all, let alone my own thoughts or emotions. I resorted back to old societal negative programming and focused on everything I knew I did NOT want. Although my boyfriend tried to tell me what a negative person I was becoming, I chose not to see it and continued my journey down the rabbit hole of negative frequencies. You cannot make someone see what they are not ready to become aware of.
Fast forward to realizing I had become quite the negative nancy and by the law of attraction was thereby creating my own misery and dragging my loved ones along for the emotional ride. My boyfriend and I decided to take a huge chance in moving 1800 miles across the country from South Carolina to Arizona where we only knew one person and not much about the environment we were moving into.
I can quite honestly say that upon moving to Arizona with whatever we could pack in our car, a 70 lb boxer and big screen TV, there wasn’t a whole lot of positive energy being thrown our way. Our families were filled with fear and doubt and honestly given the situation I couldn’t blame them. We were determined to show everyone and more importantly ourselves that our intuition was leading us down the right path as so many things pointed to us going there.
So we left emotional distress and a sea of debt that seemed endless and surrounded by dead ends to completely start over and put all of our faith in the unknown to live with a friend I had not met in person the three years I knew her.
In only 3 months we both found good jobs and were surrounded by incredibly positive people. I was making more money at my new serving job and my boyfriend got an incredible opportunity that started as temping for a company and is now leading him into a very promising career in a field he didn’t anticipate being involved with. My car decided it was no longer safe to drive and the Universe again provided us with the opportunity to get a new vehicle at the very moment we needed one.
Even though someone we were living with was trying to pull us into their negativity we kept moving forward in light and love. We had already seen what giving in to negative energy does to our lives and we had a little girl to prepare for. We landed an apartment that is beautiful and exactly what we could afford. We became a part of a community who helped us furnish our apartment then making it into a home. Can you imagine all of this happening in only 3 months and feeling anything other than purely blessed???
The moment I stopped focusing on what I did NOT want and started meditating and writing about what I DID want is the moment our frequency changed and the progress we’ve made is proof of that. Our energies became a powerhouse once again as they aligned on the same frequency and I can’t tell you how blessed I am to have someone in my life I connect with like that.
It’s funny to think about how we were able to accomplish all of this, how the money came flowing to us at the right moments, the opportunities and doors that opened at the most perfect moment, but it is not my job to analyze or worry about the “how”. It is only important for me to focus on believing it is possible and letting the rest come into existence on its own. If I focused on the “how” then I would be limiting endless possibilities that I was not even aware existed. Over and over I find myself referencing this lesson in my life. Constantly reminding myself that the “how” is not my responsibility because it is one of the biggest ideas that society taught me….to worry and overanalyze the “how” of everything.
It is through the struggle and obstacles we have faced that it is most difficult to remain aware and it becomes the most important time to remind yourself of everything you know to be your personal truth. Many times I have felt lost and wondered how I would overcome obstacles instead of seeing the purpose of their existence. A friend once told me you do not overcome obstacles, “The obstacle is usually the path. You need to invite it in for a conversation rather than see it as an obstacle you want to overcome.”
Doubt and fear are two emotions most common in pregnancy. They are linked to the most common fear among most people, the fear of the unknown and trust me when I say pregnancy is full of the unknown. These negative frequencies will destroy you if you let them, but you always have the choice to consciously change your frequency. My journey through my first pregnancy has taught me so much that I already knew to be my personal truth, yet had chosen to lose belief in. It has been one of the most difficult things I have experienced in regards to my emotional awareness. It has once again shown me that you can completely transform your life by changing your thoughts and emotional frequency, for the better or for the worst. No matter how lost you may feel, remind yourself of the light because it is always there. You must choose to see it and do things that help it to grow in strength.
I have come to the realization that pregnancy is much like life itself. There will always be outside influences and factors that you cannot control, but one thing will always remain the constant variable. You always have conscious choice and it is up to you to view what is happening as something happening TO you or FOR you. Essentially choosing to be the victim or the heroine of your own story. Giving up may seem like the easier choice in the moment, but I promise it is the most detrimental to your well-being. Everyone chooses to learn different lessons in their own way. You can choose to learn through knowledge and wisdom or through fear and doubt. Both are possible, but one requires much greater effort on your part and can be very draining to your energy.
In this case I chose to learn through fear and doubt and believe me when I tell you it was a much more turbulent and less enjoyable journey than had I chosen to learn through knowledge and wisdom. However, there was a reason I chose to learn this way and it has had a more profound meaning as I will remember this journey for the rest of my life and I wouldn’t change a thing!
I am sharing this journey with you in hopes that it inspires you to find what it is that helps your light grow and shine brighter! Surround yourself with positive and like minded people that enhance your positive frequency and you will be amazed at the life you can create!
In Light & Love 🙂